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Tuesday, January 20th, 2004

Subject:moonage daydream
Time:8:05 pm.
claire and i have big plans for the future.

while our fellow peers map out their respective futures by picking assorted colleges or jobs, claire and i do something else.

For claire and i have decided to bypass the measly offerings this withering planet has to provide us with and instead look to the cosmos for greater things.

Like an intergalactic space adventure.

Claire and I, along with Elena (whose role will be more domestic than intrepid), want to charter a shuttle to the universal abyss and let adventure, excitement, and intrigue seek us out in the cold otherwordly limits.


We would like to fight alien enemies, explore distant planets, and of course in the spirit of idealized adventure, learn valuable life lessons along the way.

It will be a wonderful life: a typical day will consist of providing diplomatic aid to flegling extraterrestrail democracies, close calls with ill placed black holes, and leisurely floats through the stars. As these fun filled and fast paced days come to an end, we shall return to our shuttle, where elena will have a piping hot meal waiting for us, as well as freshly pressed space suits of the most fashionable variety.

Yes, it will be a grand life

While you all are toiling away in this dying planet, claire and i will be miles above you residing in the cosmic folds of the universe living a perfect starry life.
Comments: Read 16 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, January 15th, 2004

Subject:lifes not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman
Time:10:09 pm.
mckinley and ben this is for you....

Elena samuelsen

what, oh what can be said about this davis cult icon?

can the restrictions of livejournal truly encompass the magnitude of her greatness?

perhaps not, but an effort is certainly merited.

Elena is a veritable stew pot of coolness: all the ingredients are present and simmering!

Here is the list of ingredients:

1) Our dearest Elena is host to one of the best haircuts at DHS! Sure skeptical french friends may refer to it as "mushroom like", but those of taste have the capacity to realize that it is a work of sheer genius.

2) What a fetching girl! The hair, the clothes, the lithe figure...Neal carmen once refered to elena as "the sexiest woman alive"...he may be on to something there.

3)Elena does hilarious rendetions of "Jesus Christ Superstar"! It is paticularly comical to watch her sing and dance whilst listening on her ENORMOUS headphones...it is in this spectacle that you know you are in the company of somene who has reached a profound level of coolness.

4)It was Elena who introduced me to "Wet HOt American Summer".....i am forever in her debt: my gratitude knows no bounds

5)Elena and I both share a deep affinity for the X Files. In elena i have found the perfect X files viewing companion, largely Because we each say things such as " Fox Mulder is the perfect man!" at grossly inappropriate times during the plot. Any other person would probably find this aggravating: but not elena! Elena is too cool to let such things annoy her.

6) Next year Elena is going extreme country club prep! It will be one of the greatest things DHS has ever seen!

7) Elena has lots of hilarious gestures! Once while at a show, Elena began to fidget in a manner that looked like a primitive yet comical , bizarely hip form dance. Only Elena can fidget with style!

8) Elena is adored by the masses!

So so many things to say, yet the paltry confines of Livejournal cannot contain them.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003

Subject:girls can tell
Time:11:47 pm.
in a big house on a small island, in a small state, in a sprawling country, sit two indiviauls whose lives are forever bound to each other by tired vows and the rings on their fingers.

these people are my grandparents.


they are wonderful caricutures of opulence and mockieries of the typical perceptions of the american elderly.


Case in point:

my grandmother, slumped in a kitchen chair, brilliant in her mink and flaming red hair, nursing a cigarette. she turns to me and in a single breath offers what only 78 years of wisdom can yield:

"lauren, there is nothing a good red lipstick cannot solve"

no trite attempts at piecing together some sort of concrete meaning she discovered in all this time; no stab at validating her many years on this earth with a profound extracted truth. No: she proved her wisdom by recgonizing that she couldn't even begin to rearrange the contents of her life to provide and decipher a definitve lesson from it. Instead, she offered what she truly knew : the proper shade of lipstick is a tremendous assset.

i think that is to be admired, deeply admired.


"Hey, you can never be too tall, too rich, or too thin: remeber that! if i could change one thing, if i could go back and make something in my life diffrent, it would be to make myself taller"

my grandfather, stoic and reclusive, uttered these words while rummaging through his wet bar. usually just a mere shadow of presence, and a ghost in the spectrum of family, this exchange was throughly unexpected.

More unexpected however was the simple fact that in the whole scope of his life, in those gritty years in beruit and those droll years in surburbia, my grandfather's biggest regret was his unsatisfacotry stautre. I can only hope that deep into my own old age, i will be able to glance back on my life and have my most rueful occurence be a minor genetic slight.

this too, this contentness with life, is to be admired.

these two beings are one of the most honest and decent outcomes of nearly 80 years of the human condition
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, November 24th, 2003

Subject:we'll defuse bombs walk marathons
Time:11:53 pm.
Alright friends picture this,

12 girls all dressed in their dancing best, jumbled together in the Sanger living room, fiercely busting out thier best moves in an attempt to earn an excellent prize. Endurance was the name of the game, with points given for victories in dance offs, and warnings issued for losing dance offs or ceasing your movements. Three warnings and you're out....oh yes, it was a high stakes game we were playing, and all were determined to win.

GOt it?

Ok, because that scene painted for you was the mirror image of what took place last sunday at my 16th birthday party.... and let me tell you, it was fucking epic.

Amanda served as the greatest suprise of the night, dancing in a manner well known in the chronicles of American comedic history, but seldom seen in real life. and what elusive dancing style does amanda have then? Well, imagine the stereotypical white man depicted in many a movie, jerking about awakwardly in an attempt to connect with the inner groove he feels whenever a contagious beat comes on. this man inevitably becomes a parody of himself, and laughs are had by all. Like us all, i was familiar with this man through american cinema, but i didn't really belive he exsisted outside of a hollywood caricture. I was wrong.

Amanda is this awkward , rigid man...amplified 120x.

but

Amanda is glorius. she was spectacular... no one could keep their eyes off her and her amazinlgy stiff movements.

we were entranced!

we were awestruck!

Amanda was a god!

We all loved Amanda before this relevation of course, but now we love her infinitley more.

I discovered that Julia and i are danicing soulmates; natural partners. there are certain people with whom danicng becomes inquistive, certian people with whom you are able to match your motions to perfectly without ever having to say a word. Julia is this person, and as such we need to go dancing more often and utlilize this connection.

I beat Wyndham in a dance off: she was unable to top my brilliant cartwheel...

I also beat Marina and Sam in a dance off (though i beat sam narrowly).

in fact,

I won all my dance offs: of that i am ever so proud

Erica was magic with her hips: we were all envious

As the night wore on we were able to see who truly had danicing gold and the competition was narrowed down to Sam, amanda, julia, claire, and krista.

These lucky finalists were then asked to dance a solo to stero total while lena and i looked harshly on.

After each girl had gone, lena and i retreated to my quarters (aka my room), and discussed.

it was toguh...

it was close....

but ultimately we declared claire the winner.

it was a beautiful night and fun was had by all.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 18th, 2003

Subject:softcore jukebox
Time:10:44 pm.
Claire, Lena, and Wyndham:
I know you thought i wouldn't actaully accomplish this. I too, had my doubts. But i have suprised as all by obtaining means of transportation AND tickets to Arab Strap. You may all praise me. Or better yet give me 19 dollars, as that is the cost of the ticket.

I am having anxities and internal debates over my hair. I was so sure a couple of weeks ago that i would cut it, but now my conviction wavers. It is allegedly my best feature according to many, so in that case i shouldn't hack it of. i think everyone who reads this should offer me an opinion; be a style counselor, if you will.

This thanksgiving i must spend with people i don't know in roseville. they are my newly acquired stepfamily, so this merits spending a holiday with them. Supposedly the house the festivites are to take place in is crawling with cats. As all of you who know me know, i am TERRIBLY allergic to cats. This detail has failed to snag my father's attention however, so come thanksgiving i will probably have an asthma attack at the table and collapse into a bowl of gravy or stuffing. and then die... You might as well say your goodbyes now. When i alerted my father to this problem, he uttered the most depressing response of all time. i cannot belive it. neither will you. he said:

(dramatic pause)

"Well if that happens we can find a Mcdonalds somewhere and wait until they are done."

what?!

Perhaps the only thing worse then perishing on thanksgiving would be to spend it in a dimly lit Mcdonalds on some shady corner, in some shady distrcit in Roseville. Someone should let me hide under thier table and feed me table scraps while no one is looking come thanksgiving. This is the best solution. Any takers?
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, November 16th, 2003

Subject:lucky tourist
Time:10:50 am.
it is a week of firsts. case in point: for perhaps the first time in the span of our friendship, wyndham and i are sharing affections for the same boy.

and..he is a blonde no less.

it is utterly unexpected.


but wait.

there is more.

for perhaps the first time in my life, I, Lauren Sanger, have found a redhead male goodlooking. this is an event i thought would never occur, as i deplore red hair.


also, i have come to realize a couple of things. the first is that i am often attracted to fairly unattractive men. this is not a good or a bad thing. however it makes me question my taste.

this week was also epic because after many months of coveting it, lena and i have finally recieved our season 5 xfiles dvd. it is a bootleg from china , but we find this of little importance.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, November 12th, 2003

Subject:no suprises
Time:10:27 pm.
well after a year of resistence i have finally surrendered to the lure of livejournal...it was inevitable. How could i read wyndham's slightly assinine but charming " where will these lj users be in 10 years", and not crave to join the livejournal ranks, if only for a spot on such a list. really, how can you resist? the answer: you can't. also, i posed a challenge to lena that if she could think of a suitable username...and clearly she suceeded..such is the genius of ms. samuelsen
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Lauren.

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